Happy Holidays.

The gauntlet of events is about to start for me. It all begins with 'sweeps week' at the church. My mother doesn't like that I call it that, but it's true. The sermons are shorter, the decorations are gaudier and the live entertainment plentiful. I see it as the time the church puts it's best foot forward trying to recruit the many that only come to church during the holidays.

Free at last. The work term is over and I am back home for the holidays. Still trying to get into the spirit but play fighting with my brother and tormenting my mother is helping.

Sometimes words flow. If not, respond with 'apparently'.

Apparently.

I’ve been trying to get into the Christmas mood this year, but I just can’t. It’s not as easy as it used to be. When I was in high school and still living at home I could enjoy the Christmas decorations that were put up. There was a warm up period, a time to bask in the glow of the Christmas tree, time to see all the presents under the tree and try to guess what they are. Now Christmas is a rapid event. My family comes home; the tree erected; presents appear underneath it. Then 2 days later you are being dragged around the mall in search of a Boxing Day bargain and can’t remember where the time went.



I miss the simpler times of going to school with a sled, staying outdoors until it was too dark to find my way home, my mother making homemade chocolates, a pond to skate on, Christmas carols sung at school every morning, last day before Christmas break parties, and the time to do it all.

If only someone had been filming me I could have watched a little film titled, "what did you do?" to figure out what happened at the Christmas party. Me, a guy who can drink beer like there is no tomorrow cannot handle wine. It had the strangest effect on me and after a few glasses, I was gone (some sort of allergic reaction). My mind checked out and it’s not really a place I want to go to again.



A wise person told me that everyone has a drunk work Christmas party they would like to forget, so it is better to get it over with while you are young and in co-op than when you are a manager. I guess my adventure was better than hers, she ended up walking out of the bathroom with a trail of toilet paper coming out of here skirt.

Happy National Commando Day!

If someone is looking for "subliminal porn pictures" what exactly is subliminal about them? Is it so you can't tell that it is actually porn, or will looking at them make you a sexual deviant?

In my dream last night I was in trouble so I went to talk to my friends. One of them handed me a gun. I cocked it, which seemed like a natural thing to do, and put it away. The next thing I knew, I was being chased by a cop through the parking lot of the Canadian Tire I worked at when I was in high school. He had shot one of my friends in the arm so I was on my own. I reached for my gun and was shooting at him as I ran away dodging between people and cars. The cop was shooting at me also. Miraculously no one was hit considering we were no further than 3 feet apart.



I must not have been a very good criminal.

I feel like I have been in a haze today. Where you can’t tell if you are dreaming or awake. You feel like there is a translucent lid over your eyes. Your mind works well in some scenarios but murky in others. Your body has the sleeping feeling where it feels like your muscles are paralyzed. Everything else seems more interesting than what you are doing. Your face feels constantly warm and your hands ice cold.

PSA: I would ask that anyone who has sent me an email within the last few days to resend it if they want a response. My undergrad account shutdown because I was at 119% capacity.

Lately I haven't been surfing as much as I would like. I've been sticking to the same sites but they just don't update enough for my liking. Tonight I discovered unpluggedtv.com, I highly recommend it if you want to know: what happened to Mr T? Where all the porno went? anything about Ouchy the Clown, or signs that someone is turning into Kenny Rogers. The site is similar to heavy.com.

You'd think they'd never seen doughnuts: Now that Canada has a Krispy Kreme to call it’s own we can finally answer the question, whose donuts are better, Krispy Kreme or Tim Hortons? Anyone up for a field trip to Mississauga to do a little research?



The fanaticism behind Krispy Kreme amazes me, when people say they would sell their child for one I believe them.

It would have sucked to be a goose this morning. It was cold and everything was covered with a layer of frost. A I walked by Columbia Lake I just stared at all the waterfowl, which seem impervious to the chilled and spontaneously frozen water. After imagining what it would be like to swim around in the crappy water, half water – half geese droppings, I wondered if these geese were permanent residents or just on a lay-over. Is Columbia Lake a premier rest station on the way South? When go by, there are easily hundreds nestled in the water or sleeping on the lawns. They seem to be in groups of 30-50 geese, perhaps the ideal number for the flying V formation. Anyone know?

I woke up this morning with a sore, swollen throat and dragged my ass to work anyway. I had a few things to do and a meeting, I told myself as soon as that was over I could come home and curl up in bed. The said meeting was to be at 1 and someone was going to get me because the schedule wasn't firm. At 2 they came by to apologize for forgetting to come and get me. I should've just stayed home to begin with.

I added some new photos, if your into that sort of thing.

Trying to hold a grudge is one of the hardest things that I have ever tried to do. I don't know how other people do it for years at a time. It just takes so much energy and my laid-back nature (apathetic?) makes it even more difficult.

For those of you who weren't paying attention before, I don't like it when people talk to me in the bathroom. My boss however doesn't share this conviction. Today he decided that he would start talking business as I was on my way out and he was at the urinal. I just couldn't handle it, after a minute I just abruptly ended the conversation, said I'd catch him later and high-tailed it out of there. That's just one level of discomfort that I can't take.

New Year’s is supposed to be one of the most exciting events of the year. You gather with friends to get the new year off to a good start by singing some song no one knows the words to and making empty new year’s resolutions that no one keeps. Everyone pretends that the year has gotten off to a good start when in fact it has gotten off to a horrible start with all the lies and in many cases drunken lewd behavior. This is one of the many reasons that I believe make New Year’s a flawed event.



This year I propose that you do something different. Instead of ringing in the New Year, pay homage to the old year. Gather your closest friends along with photos and any other memorabilia of the last year and share. Reflect on the good (that girl that you picked up in the bar last New Year’s) and the bad (how she stalked you and wrecked your car after you broke up with her) moments. By the end of the night you will have some closure and be prepared to greet the New Year.



Update: I have no clue what I am going to do for New Year’s. Options include: drunken escapades in Montreal, drunken escapades in Waterloo, or hanging out with family.



*Disclaimer*: I don’t often follow my own advise. If you do follow it, I am not responsible for any negative outcome that may occur.

Within my head there are thousands of inane, minute details swimming around fighting for my attention. Many thoughts on how green the grass was when I came home from camp, trying to push out the lyrics to the latest pop song that I heard on MuchMusic. Then there are the hidden thoughts/memories, neither good nor bad. They are triggered by circumstances and come back causing a feeling of déjà vu. This is what happened to me last night. I went for dinner with my parents at a friend’s house and when I was ready to go I was instantly transported back to being 5 years old and having no attention span. I could vividly remember all the times in my life I had gone over to my Dad and whispered, “Can we go now?”, and knowing that no matter what the answer was, we would be there for at least another hour.



Moral of the story: Always have an escape plan.

Some people are creepy. Last night, a group of us are just doing our thing on the dance floor and somehow we ended up in the main traffic flow, so people were cutting through our circle from time to time. This girl bumps into me and looks up, as soon as she sees me she gets this glint in her eye and gives me a sly smile. She then continued to go by me except instead of walking on by she rubs up against me and puts her ass into it. We immediately started to laugh.

There is nothing that I hate worse than being on the end of a losing battle. Being stuck in the corner with no possible action is the most frustrating and enraging feeling. I want to lash out but then I realize that I am not that person. I am the one that says nothing and thinks it through and calms down later. I wish I could be mean. So many witty retorts and razor sharp comments go unused. It would be nice to be an asshole, just for a day without repercussions.