PSA: 3 months ago I wanted to see Waking Life, this Thursday the Princess is finally going to fulfill my request.

Five hundred of them are present. The gulls in white, black and grey against what should be a blue sky but has been replaced by a steel grey cloud. It doesn't matter, the effect is the same. A small bird which normally would have gone unnoticed is present in the mass. They are dancing in what appears to be a game of follow the leader. They dive in and out in a figure eight ending in a ceaseless circle. Many layers have formed and the gulls weave throughout, careful not to hit one another. They control their speed and the many dimensions gracefully.

I stand on the sidewalk looking up at the complex task. I wish to take a picture. As beautiful as it is I wish to see the balance destroyed. To see two birds collide and fall out of the sky. The thought passes as I watch the ballet in the sky, silently wishing I was one of them.

Last night I walked by the first place I lived off campus. It was in the Fall of 1998 and I lived with 8 people, some I knew well and some that I would become better friends with. Each time I pass my old place of residence my eyes are glued to 'my' window. I try to theorize about who is living in the house now, what are they like, are they having as much fun as we did and do the neighbors give them as much of a hard time.

As I slowly walk by I have this urge to knock on the door and ask to look around. I want to see if the bathroom faucet leaks, if the master bedroom is still easy to break in, and if the kiddie pool is still in the backyard. Mostly I want to see if there are any memories that I left behind.

I miss the times of living with 8. It was a unique family and we had family meals every Sunday night and watched the Simpsons and X-files (before it sucked). I miss always having someone to hang out with. It was guaranteed that someone would not want to be working and it was my duty to help that person out. The best thing about remembering about the past is that you can conveniently forget about the bad.

I hate it when company's do things just for show, just to make a splash. That's what MuchMusic did with its so-called VJ search. They created a 12 hour show and let viewers think that they might have some actual input in the final choice. Anyone who has watched much at some point within the last year knows that VJ's, Rachel, Sook-yin and Master T have left the station. Master T was replaced by Rainbow and Rachel by Amanda. Both of the new VJ's filled the stereotypical VJ void that was left behind. Sook-yin an independent rocker herself was replaced by Aaron in the VJ search, who low and behold is an independent rocker. A coincidence I think not, in all probability it was scripted from the get go.



Has this squelched my desire to be a VJ? Not at all, I just have to wait for my type to leave the line-up.

I went and saw Tony Lee's X-rated hypnotist show last night and it was the best 5 bucks I have spent in a really long time. Some of my friends went on stage which made it even better. I watched them strip, fake an orgasm and so much more. I haven't laughed that hard in a really long time. The crazy kids at Ryerson wrote about there experiences here.

After receiving several hits from the boards@okayplayer I scoured the pages looking for the link. I finally found it. It's always the 6th item in a list of Midnight Marauders. It's here, here and here. It seems like a rather unusual way to sign posts.

I feel like I am lacking a certain passion in my posts lately. Every time I go to write something it feels good coming out but falls apart somewhere along the way. It's missing something that I felt in my head that won't translate, I'm just not sure what. I also have been finding it hard to decide what to post. Do I talk about things I have done, things I think, or things I feel. Sometimes I wish to post nothing at all but that seems wrong. I want to post something that says indicates I wish to post nothing at all.

The "double edge sword" of life has been affecting me lately. I was giving blood and I feel it's important that I do because being o+ I am the universal donor and can help, but if I were to ever need blood I could only accept o+. I have the ability to give freely to anyone but I can't accept it freely. I keep examining everything and looking at both sides, I can't seem to let something positive remain that way. I need a ying for every yang and I suppose that is how life really is.

I don't like classifications because they imply restrictions. Just a thought that that has been sticking with me.

Third Eye Blind - Slow Motion. I can see why they removed the lyrics from the album version of the song, but I still find my self listening to its eerie presence. (available on the left for download)

Miss Jones taught me English
But I think I just shot her son
'Cause he owed me money
With a bullet in the chest you cannot run
Now he's bleeding in a vacant lot
The one in the summer where we used to smoke pot
I guess I didn't mean it but man you shoulda seen it
His flesh explode
Slow motion see me let go
We tend to die young
Slow Motion see me let go
What a brother knows
Slow Motion see me let go
Now the cops will get me
But girl if you would let me
I'll take you pants off
I got a little bit of blow
We could both get off
Lay there bathing in the afterglow
Two lines of coke I cut with Drano
And her nose starts to bleed
A most beautiful ruby red
Slow motion see me let go
We'll remember these days
Slow motion see me let go
Urban life decay
Slow motion see me let go
And at home
My sister's eating paint chips again
Maybe that's why she's insane
I shut the door to her moaning
And I shoot smack in my veins
Wouldn't you?
See my neighbor's beating his wife
Because he hates his life
There's a knock to his fist as he swings
Oh man, what a beautiful thing
And death slides close to me
Won't grow old to be
A junkie, whino creep
Hollywood glamorize my wrath
I'm a young urban psychopath
I incite murder
For your entertainment
'Cause I needed the money
What's your excuse?
The jokes on you
Slow motion see me let go
Slow motion see me let go
Slow motion see me let go

I finished reading Alistair MacLeod's, No Great Mischief last night instead of doing any of the other numberable things I should have done.

The book takes it's title from a phrase that was said about MacLeods ancestors, "it's no great mischief" if they succeed. In the book he outlines his life and the journey his ancestors took from Scotland. At first I chose to read the book because it had won numerous awards but I found that after a while I just got into it. He is a great author and I found it easy to get into the story because it happened in places I've been and to people who resemble my relatives from the Netherlands.

Who knows why certain passages stick with you, but this one did: "Everything in the Beer Store exudes happiness and goodwill. It's as if the store is imitating the relentless TV commercials, and obviously both the commercials and the store itself are born of similar agencies. I do not think the agencies would recruit my blood-soaked brother sitting on the edge of his bed in his underwear as an example of one of their happy customers."

Business week has a good comprehensive set of articles examining Apple's stock, OS X, Apple's Future and so much more.

If you ever asked me if the strip joint is my kind of place, I'd have to tell you no. It's not that it isn't fun, it is for a bit. It's just not that great because I have very little respect for the women that work there. (but I am sure some may have little respect for people who go to those places)

Last night we went to the rippers for a boys night out. It was everything I expected. A smelly hole where you wouldn't even want to brave the bathroom if it wasn't a dire emergency. We decided to pass on gynecologist row and sat a little further away from the action where hopefully we would be safe from catching some diseases.

My lack of respect comes from the actions of the women. Sure they strip down naked, that in itself I don't think is so bad. It's when they go into the gray area that is very close to the line of prostitution. When someone decides to tip they get something extra special. A naked girl climbing all over them, putting things in their face and then she uses her breasts to pick up the 2 dollar coin or bill sticking out of the patrons mouth. There was even some guy who had the stripper put her hands down his pants. Then for 20 bucks a lap dance can be bought from 2 women who apparently will lick each other anywhere and leave their patrons shaking afterwards.

Where is the line?

The highlight of the night was the feature. Her special abilities included fire. She had these flaming sticks that she put in her mouth and rubbed all over her body. It was actually quite impressive. The low point of the night may have been when a girl came out and she looked liked one of my friends. I may not be able to look at her the same way again.

Socks provide us with some key functionality. Firstly they keep your feet warm, they allow you to slide on wood floors and lastly a built-in napkin. If your too lazy to get a napkin and you aren't on a dilapidated student couch to wipe your hands off on you can always count on you sock. That's what it's there for.

I'm not sure what's worse, that I dreamt about gruesome monsters in my dream or the fact that I didn't wake up. Is it still considered a nightmare if you don't wake up? I wasn't scared but in the aftermath I experienced quite th thriller of a dream last night. There were space aliens, advanced technology and an escape from one using the other.

The best nights at the bar are the ones where you can just feel it in your bones that it is going to be good. You're excited but not giddy, buzzed but not drunk. Everything is under control, there are no fires to put out. The only thing you have to do is have fun. Which I did.

It's not that I can't sleep. My body is willing and able, my mind just won't stop thinking. It's not even taking on the words biggest problems like famine and how many licks it takes to get the centre of a tootsie pop. Instead it has focused on high school and swimming laps at the pool. Which is the only explanation I have for dreaming about some high school joc I knew trying to trip me at the University pool. I stealthy outwitted him and retaliated with a right hook that sent him to the floor making all his joc friends laugh at him.

Fade In... I was me but I was stuck in a human-cartoon world. Bart, Homer and Milhouse were there and I was defending Milhouse from the fat Comic book store owner who was threatening to shave his nonexistent beard with a flintstone-esque shaver.

Dilemma: Today Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 1 is finally available on DVD for the low price of 45.99 CAN.

Pro: I love Buffy.

Con: I love money in my pocket.

Solution: ????

I went to the PAC for the very first time last night because it has become too cold and slippery to continue running outside. The good thing about the PAC is that it's free, the bad thing is that it smells, can be busy, the equipments old and everyone else there is in better shape I am.

I settled myself into a nice quiet rowing machine, one without a mirror to spare myself from having to watch myself. It wasn't hard to get in the zone but then someone else started to use the machine beside me. Immediately my competitiveness set in. Out of the corner of my eye I gaged his speed and strength and had to go faster and harder than him. I must have intimidated him because after 5 minutes he gave up and left. I can't blame him, I'm tough competition.

Side note: I am going to post this lame story anyway, but I wanted to let the reader know that when I had the idea for this story I thought it was going to be much funnier and less lame.

This morning in anthro I am positive my prof said the wrong thing. Instead of saying "genetically deaf" or "genially deaf" about albino cats she said "genitally deaf". I am 99% sure that this not a real term, but that 1% is making me think of some pretty strange things.

Having been nominated/dragged along to watch Lord of the Rings for a second time I found myself a little bored during the 3 hour presentation. I still like the story, but how the book tells it, not the dramatic portrayal in the movie. That's when it hit me, right after the council meets to decide who will take the ring to Mount Doom the fellowship of the 9 head out and are on the mountains. The music starts out soft and is building to a climax as the camera pans around the mountains. That's when I realized the shot had been stolen from the opening of Sound of Music, it couldn't have been more obvious if Julie Andrews herself had been there singing "the hills are alive with the sound of music". Maybe if we are lucky the second Lord of the Rings will include new original music such as "How do you solve a problem like Lord Sauron".

Blogger Code: B6 d t k s+ u f i- o+ x e l c. Hopefully the next step is to use blogger codes for some sort of dating service for the socially inept.

It really hard to not avoid something when you know it's coming. This morning I am sitting in the chair waiting for that puff of air they give you for the glaucoma test. It took several tries because I kept on blinking my eyes in anticipation. I don't think it's my fault at all, it's human nature to avoid things that cause pain and things we dislike such as siblings and boring CS classes.

That's not my midriff: The body on the cover of FHM magazine apparently doesn't entirely belong to Nelly Furtado. It's nice to see Furtado step forward about how false magazine covers can be but it is also nice to see "Canada's Hottest Export" on the cover of FHM.

New crew at u8tv and I think they have settled on a theme for the year, sex. Was the sex good? Have you been spanked? Are you good in bed?...

I've just had the first taste of my Information Technology Law class. It was a little dry, as it only covered the basics of the judicial system but the one interesting thing I learned was a minor difference between the Canadian and American systems.

In Canada it is the norm for lawyers to charge by the hour and the party that loses has to pay the winner's lawyer fees. In the States the lawyer takes a percentage of the penalty awarded and nothing if their client loses. Both systems have there strong points. The Canadian system prevents petty suits being brought to court, but it always makes it difficult for the poor to strive for justice.

Apple's Latest Fruit: good article from Time on the state of the Apple.

What's life without a little controversy and a medium in which to expose it. So this 'self-centered loser and all round complainer' is going to share a few comments with you, that i think concern this post.

my god you are a big fat complainer. are you for real or do you make this rubbish up? good god you are so 'all about my loser self.' get a grip!

okay now i feel like i've been a little hard on you.... it's just that every single university grad has this ridiculous attitude like they are the only ones in the world that has this sad and horrible life to live... waaaa waaaa. i blame my mother... oh wait, this was supposed to be the nice comment, well, i'm fresh out. tough.

this is life brado.
get used to it.
;P


I can take criticism, I just won't do it quietly. First off I don't think I have ever claimed to be the person that they think I am. And yes some things may seem melodramatic to more seasoned individuals, but how many people take on a new stage of their life and think that it is going to be easy. Unfortunately we are not all blessed with hindsight and every new challenge will be more difficult than the last. This is my blog and anything I have to say is my opinion and how I feel at one specific moment in time and if you don't like what I have to say, I'd like to remind you that you have the choice to not read it.

If life was static you could judge me on this site's contents, but life is dynamic and only a fraction of it makes it to these pages.

Everything I do no matter how old or repetitive seems new and awkward. It's time to take the next step in my life. I'm just not sure if I am ready. I am ready to be done school, and I know that finishing doesn't really mean anything except that I studied something and gained many experiences. How can this step really be all that different than going to University? I knew I was going to University, it was just a matter of which one, now I know that I am going to get a full time job, it's just a matter of where and when. This choice seems like it will have such a large impact on my life, it signifies I am moving on, but I don't want to let go of everything.

Only at UW can I have an american professor with a mullet who says y'all and m'kay. This is going to provide me hours of entertainment during the term.

iWalk Looks more Like iWish, and I really do wish it if it also has a 5 gig HD and plays mp3's.

Being home for over 10 days was good and bad. I was very well rested but I was slightly bored and with family all of the time. Play fighting with my brother, one of the only other guys as big as me that I can hit and won't cry, wasn't as friendly by the end and anything my mother said took on a nagging tone even if she wasn't nagging me. After a while I could listen to her and not hear a single word.

It has been so long since I have interacted with the web that I am slightly out of practice. My addiction to media on the web was replaced by MTV shows such as jackass, real world, undressed and road rules, but my cravings will go unsatisfied due to lack of digital cable here in the loo. I'll be okay soon. My other beef is that canadian mtv recycles material more often than much music.

Regular programming will resume shortly.



Happy New Year!