Another note on the xXx genre of movies. Imagine how ridiculous a Canadian Flag parachute would look in a movie or any other scenario for that matter. Who would such a parachute carry? CSIS members? Canadian Daredevils, if there is such a thing? The Armed Forces?

My ability to suspend belief is starting to dwindle. I'm not sure if I can't do it or if Hollywood Movies are trying to stretch it further and further by presenting scenarios that in the back of my head have 0% probability of happening. I saw Triple X or xXx or whatever you are suppose to call it a couple of days ago and the same thoughts have been cycling in my head.

- Heat seeking missiles never target cigarettes. It is simply to small, light bulbs generate more heat.
- Solar powered submarines. You would think that is enough but the solar powered submarine was more of a hydrofoil than a submarine.
- Barns full of cocaine that explode under gunfire.
- Surviving an avalanche by snow boarding ahead of it. I don't care how bitch'n you are it.

Anyone with a heat seeking missile, solar-powered submarine, cocaine or dynamite is encouraged to disprove or prove my theories. I eagerly await your response. Send Pictures and viedo where possible. I am not liable if you actually do any of these things.

I imagine now that one of my friends has gotten engaged that the rest are going to follow. I want to believe that it is because they are all little lemmings waiting for the first couple to make the move so they can follow and slowly out number us singles, who they will try to feebly setup on blind dates and try not to pity us to our faces but us singles will know better. We will be vigilant in our choice to remain single. We will be devout to it like a Mac user is to Apple and Canadians are to Canada, simply because we feel we are the underdog. We will offer nothing less than a ferocious pride to outside observers.

That's how it could happen if you were to let your mind wander...

What are those loons saying anyway:
Loon 1: Hello, is anyone out there?
Loon 2: Vern, is that you?
Loon 1: Chuck, is that you? I can't see anything on this damn pond. We should seriously consider moving to city.
Loon 2: I know, I heard the fowl up there are easy. Plus we can work that whole endangered species angle.
Loon 3: You guys suck!
silence
Loon 1 and 2: Ha ha you just jealous Shirley.
Loon 2: She's still an ugly duckling.
Ha ha ha...

Obit:
A brief ceremony will be held in the bathroom of the Beta Chapel (2nd stall on the right) for Lord Flanders the 2nd who died on August 18, 2002. Lord Flanders was devoid of any personality and spent his precious moments of freedom from the pet store in a plastic bag. He is survived by Lord Flanders the 3rd, his replacement and long time lover Lolita. Lord Flanders enjoyed kicking a little Beta Fish ass, but took it to far when he abused his lover Lolita on their first fin-to-fin meeting. After the restraining order expired the couple rekindled their love and vowed to remain in separate bowls.

It's reasons like this that make me hate Microsoft, they are bastardizing my school, not that it needed much help! All these corporate sponserships are degrading the quality of education. Universities are not doing what is best for the student, but what is best for the bottom line. Microsoft's grant has strings attached?

Dashboard Confessional - The Best Deceptions :: You know where...

I heard about your trip.
I heard about your souvenirs.
I heard about the cool breeze,
In the cool nights,
And the cool guys
That you spent them with.
Well I guess I should have heard of them from you.
I guess I should have heard of them from you.

Don't you see,
Don't you see, that the charade is over?
And all the "Best Deceptions"
And "Clever Cover Story" awards go to you.
So kiss me hard
Cause this will be the last time that I let you.
You will be back someday
And this awkward kiss
That screams of other people's lips
Will be of service to keeping you away.

I heard about your regrets.
I heard that you were feeling sorry.
I heard from someone that you wish
You could set things right between us.
Well I guess I should've heard of that from you.
I guess I should've heard of that from you.

I'm waiting for blood to flow to my fingers;
I'll be all right when my hands get warm.
Ignoring the phone, I'd rather say nothing.
I'd rather you'd never heard my voice.
You're calling too late
Too late to be gracious
And you do not warrant long good-byes.
You're calling too late.

I've always thought to myself that an easy way to discourage music pirating over Limewire and Kazaa would be to flood the services with bad mp3's. After several attempts users would get discouraged and give up. No Doubt's label must have caught on to this, because I haven't been able to get a decent version of Hella Good or Underneath it all, at all. Every version I download is a good quality song, but consists of the lyrics looped repeatedly. Damn labels...

You know what's funny? 14 year old boys who say "I think you should tap that".

Apple's whole switch campaign is turning out way more successful than I ever thought it would. They have the media writing about how to switch, developers writing apps to move data from PC's to Macs and the ads are creating a stir. Ellen Feiss has her own fan sites and clubs, some of which debate about whether or not she is stoned and can she kick the ass of the 'dude, your getting a dell' guy.

The problem with self-help books is that they infer you have a problem, specifically one that you are trying to solve. I think we should rename them self-diagnostics, or self-inventories or something like that, that isn't as judgmental.

Movies show speedy car chases and the only damage done is a few scratches and minor dents after repeated rammage. I participated in one hit and the other car was worse for the ware.

Damn, damn, damn.

My perfect record has been broken. I've been driving for 7 years and haven't had a single accident and tonight it was shattered when I got rear-ended on the highway. I was going with the flow of traffic and had to brake while going around a corner. I looked back and saw a red Sunfire enter my review mirror, I looked ahead to see if I had space to move. I didn't. It hit me dead-on, leaving my bumper not looking so shiny and new, and bending the Sunfire hood into a small tent. It happened in less than a second but all the events occurred in slow motion. What I found funniest is that after we had pulled over to the side, instead of calling the police to report the accident, we both called home for guidance.

Possibly the best application ever, Daily Comic, lets me look at my favourite comics quickly and without all the extra bloat.

My people take great offense to the depiction of the Dutch in Austin Powers! Goldmember's accent was horrible and everyone knows that when we eat our skin we put mayonnaise on it.

Sometimes where I live seems so small. All the things I left behind when I went to school are just as accessible now as they were then. Last weekend I went to an outdoor festival and ran into some friends from high school. More people than I had seen in the last 5 years from home and more than I care to see I think. Why people have these fake little conversations is beyond me. Why can't we accept that, some people we aren't friends with anymore? Why must we delude ourselves with a fake invitation that neither party will ever accept?

Hawksley Workman - Your Beauty Must Be Rubbing Off

You know how guys have that whole thing for lesbians? You know, the thing about threesomes with overly attractive lesbians that is not even remotely possible because lesbians don't care for men. That dream may no longer be impossible if you switch lesbians for bisexual women. Just in care you were wondering where you were going wrong.

The world likes to play evil tricks. The kind where you think that a video camera is hiding somewhere capturing your frustration and amusement. It all started off innocently enough. I was hitting the ball around with my loiusville slugger that I got as birthday present when I young, it still has my name written on it in the best primary printing I could muster. I popped the ball up and it got stuck about 30 feet up in a spruce tree. So, what do i do? I throw my bat at it a couple of times trying to knock it down, then on the my last attempt, the tree ate my bat and deposited at the tip of the 40 foot tree.