I've been thinking, if I don't get a job soon I should become a school bus driver. The hours seem like they would be reasonable, morning, lunch and late afternoon and I could do field trips occasionally if I need the money. I would only drive the little kids because lets face it, those high school kids are punk asses on the bus. I was one of them and we were horrible with all our charades and pranks. At the end of the year the bus driver would get us back by throwing water balloons at us as we left. But, the best reason of all is I can finally let myself go and become what I've always wanted to be, white trash!

now with 40% more ritual

If I could be a professional voyeur/photographer I would. I have had all these ideas for photo essays going through my head. The most intriguing was sparked today as I watched a young man hop off his bike and knock on the door of a motel room. After making sure that no one was watching him he slipped in and closed the door. I can envision a book with hundreds of pictures that chronicle clientele. It would tell such an interesting story. One of love, sorrow and adventure. After all there is more than just one obvious reason to get a motel room.



I last stayed in Tobermory after driving 3 hours to rescue my brother and sister who were trying desperately to make it to a wedding on Mantoulin Island. When I got there I had no way of contacting them, so I sat in the parking lot calling their names until they revealed themselves.



Where and why did you stay in your last motel room?

Buffy. Season Premiere. Tonight.

Reading this article about a short film on wired lead to checking out the director's site and short film The Honey Pot. It was like learning how to make crayons on the polka dot door, but with more of an adult theme and more laughs. (Movies are in Quicktime).

I fear I am slowly killing Lord Flanders. He swims around his converted vase and it bombarded by sound waves. Located by a speaker the water ripples as the bass makes my room tremble. If anything it's having a positive side effect, Flanders really knows how to swim to the beat. He's always strutting his stuff like the bad ass he is.

Do you like R.E.M.? - Hell Yah!

Do you like Free? - Do I!

Download the free r.e.m.IX now!



The site has 10 tracks to download and some artwork for the jewel case. The remixes are another side of the band that I've never heard before. If I had to sum it up, it's sort of a house, trance, and lounge mix. It's interesting and I am liking it, for now at least.

required reading: shift's The Simpsons Generation. I actually subscribe to this magazine for my love of the eclectic articles. This one focuses on culture over the last decade, complete with Simpson quotes and scenarios to help make the point.

I've always keep a blind eye to death. Never admitting that it's there or that it can affect me. Because of that obtuseness I ignore the possibility of it and death will shock me to the core when it finally does truly affect me, forcing a reexamination of life and its finality.

The desperation of being unemployed can be powerful. Mighty powerful, it can make you do things you never dreamed of before just to pass the time. It reminds of when I was in finals and would clean my room instead of studying. Except instead of finals I'm unemployed and installing doorbells, light fixtures and canning fruit on top of the cleaning thing.

Has anyone' sued a dog for harrassment before? Can I?



I could be the first. All references point to people harassing dogs and not vice versa. Do I smell a frivolous law suit coming on?

A sharp mind is a prison of it's own making. Caught in contradictions. Digging a hole with every thought. Spreading the seeds of doubt and despair rapidly, only to resurface to normality when the conflict is resolved or forgotten. A spiral that occurs out of curiosity and situation. A defense mechanism designed to intensify and numb emotion. It creates disastrous or splendid fantasies whose vividness pale in comparison to reality. A constant dynamic universe of existence that solitude may be sought but never found.

Have you ever wanted to hit a dog? I didn't think I would ever want to, but it happened just the same. I was running my usual route when this pesky dog was barking and following me. I did the usual, stop, let the dog sniff and keep going. It didn't work. It wouldn't let me move. Yelling at it didn't help. Moving didn't help. Nothing helped, it only seemed to piss the dog off more. Finally the owner yelled for the dog to come back and I got really pissed off. The kind of anger that you didn't know was there. It surprises you and wants to come out. No matter how calm you think you are, there is always that one thing waiting, lurking to come out, whispering "express don't repress".

Well, dress me up like a pink grapefruit and slap me silly, Canada has it's own Men's Magazine. UMM, Urban Male Magazine is trying to take on GQ, Maxim, Details et al. I don't think they are doing that good of a job. Like most, I've never heard of it. I just happened to stumble upon it at Chapters thinking it was brand spanking new. It has a least 3 issues behind it's belt so I am not really sure how long it has been around.

My generation, whatever that happens to be called these days needs to have some alterations made to it. Not only are we a bunch of tech savvy, smart, good looking people, but we also have a need for sexual humour. It all started with that sweet warm apple pie (Mmmmm...) and escalated into The Sweetest Thing. The movie shows it's sexual prowess with such gimmicks as the penis song ("my body is a movie and your penis is the star", "your penis won't fit in there or there or there") and an act of fellatio that ends with a penis piercing caught on a set of tonsils. What's next?

Pale Colours Surround

Contorted Shadows Display

Hidden Things From Day

"How many illegal aliens fit in your trunk? Do you have any weapons of Mass Destruction? "Do you know what a weapon of Mass Destruction is?". Just a few questions from our friendly customs agent. I wonder if anyone has been stupid enough to admit to any of those things?



Thanks for the laughs Detroit. How do these things slip through the cracks. It's as good as The Canadian Conservative Reforam Alliance Party, CCRAP, but at least they caught that in time.

E-mail's suppose to be this great communication tool but it's one dimensional. Words only. It pales in comparison to two dimensional conversations on the phone and three dimensional conversations in person. Each form adds another layer to it, inflection in the voice and body language. The more we use email the less we are able to communicate effectively with others.

May 4, 2002

Old men with big flaccid penises like to wave them around in public places. I wish they wouldn't. I don't need to see it.



May 3, 2002

The fun-loving pick up and go idea of backpacking has been smothered by the French Rail System. All high speed trains must be booked ahead of time and we didn't, the train we want from Brussels to Paris is full. After a work around and an insistence that, yes, we want to stopover in Brussels we were able to do what we wanted with a few additional stops. We should have listened to the train-dude when he said go to Antwerp if you want to see a beautiful Belgium city. Instead we went to a beautiful square in the trash area of a city. The Grand Place is beautiful, but I am glad that I didn't spend a night in this city.

Noooooo! A collective cry is heard as the chosen one is now the married one.

I swear, everyday my life feels just that much more complete. First it was a Christmas party with Dalton McGuinty and now I've shared an elevator with the Premier of Ontario, Mike Harris, or some guy who happens to look just like him, which I doubt because there is that rule where all politicians have to have that disinct look about them. Mulroney had the chin, Chretien the crooked mouth, and Mike has the big nose.

If I want to become an olympic athlete I should consider this method. I think it will be on Springer soon. -> Canadian cyclists may boycott team - Group loses bid to ban team member who had sex change

Winnie the Pooh - "I'm round and fat and proud of that". I think we can all take a lesson from his courage.