I'd like to go to a Halloween party where people did more than dress up. A party where they actually became their characters. I'd sit in the corner with black pants, white and black stripped shirt, face white and silent. Maybe it should be a pimp and whore themed party.

Mac O'Lanterns - If only I had more time and cared I would use this how-to information to make a really cool kick-ass pumpkin.

What the hell is a zephyr? And why should I fly away on it?



If you asked my mom she would say it's a zipper, but that only leads me to dirty implications. If you ask dictionary.com it means, a gentle breeze, which is what I think the Chili Peppers meant. Then again, I could be wrong, this is the same band that wrote 'Suck My Kiss'.

Seeing a suspense movie in a theater is infinitely better and scarier. I never jump during scary movies but I'm thinking that's because I rarely see them in the theater. Red Dragon made me jump, not by the events on the screen which were good, but by the intensity of the sound encompassing me. A loud noise is a thousand times more terrifying to me than seeing someone shot in the head repeatedly. Desensitization has worked its magic a little too well on me.

I know, you really want to join Austausch, but the requirements are just too much. I scraped some more mirror sites together so the hosting stipulation has been removed. Now you really have no excuse not to join.

Turns out those links to porn sites in my referrer logs are the newest form of spam according to this wired article. Spam is starting to really piss me off. I've never had a problem with it before, but the nuisance is growing exponentially and it's shattering my ego. Don't those spammers realize how much it hurts to realize that the only mail you have is spam?

Check out Austausch, the album exchange club with all the perks of the Stonecutters! I was going to name it the tunes and album exchange, tna for short, but decided on some good old german instead.

The new Matt Good video for Weapon is available on his site in quicktime. The video is interesting and has the Matt Good edge to it that we have grown to love, so if you're bored go check it out.

I know we've all been thinking it lately, men's underwear just isn't as exciting as it used to be. It was on a roll with the advent of boxer-briefs, but since then it has gotten stale. Don't worry, a revolution is upon us! Shamba Amana has given us something new in Round-de-bout; instead of a slit in the front we can have an elasticized hole. The new design also thoughtfully made the label into a small pocket perfect for condom storage. Their site is still not up, so a pic is unavailable which is a shame because I think you really need to see these for yourself.

Weeping Tile - Handkerchiefs and Napkins



Here in the trees the rain has stopped coming down

So easily distracted

How lucky are we to have these wet seasons

Sew handkerchiefs and napkins



Everyones home now the tired ones are hiding out




To catch up on their sleep

And time here alone seems to come where your stoned

Theres a door to close and a thought to keep



Here in the trees in the off chance we leave while the road in

Is getting washed out

In the spaces well leave it alone 



Here in the trees the rain has stopped coming down

So easily distracted

How lucky are we to have these wet seasons

Sew handkerchiefs and napkins

Every time a friend passes out from too much drinking and not enough sleep I must do something about it, I just can't help myself, it's my duty as defender of drunks and purveyor of evil deeds. Basically it's in my blood.



I made spit balls of kleenex and water and tossed them with all the accuracy that only a drunk person can muster up, missing each and every time. My friend tired of watching my botched attempts, took a nice wet one and launched it at a high velocity hitting the eye socket with a good wet splat, sending water dripping down the face of the passed out prisoner. The noise had been so perfect and clear, and as the target remained dormant and motionless more laughter built up until the victim finally woke up wondering why everyone was incapacitated on the floor in fits of laughter and what was on their face?

Pouring accelerant over various wood bits and throwing a match in the mix creates a deep woof sound of pure satisfaction. I spent 3 hours tending a fire, taking the time to nurture destruction one piece at a time. It's all part of this new job program I created for myself, try as many jobs as you can and if you can't, make the rest up. I can see why they like there jobs so much.



On a side note, does anyone remember a kids show where there was a trunk of old hats and when worn they transported the wearer?

Somehow I got it in my head that I could refresh my memory of all the technical code-y goodness I have lost over the last year by going through all my CS notes for the last 5 years. Rummaging threw them I discovered one thing, I get bored easily. Every other page has the phrase 'I am bored' or 'I am so bored' or an intricate doodle that I toiled over instead of paying attention. In a first year CS class I even went as far as writing a poem.

(clears throat)



CS makes one's soul morose,

and in need of an overdose

our soul is a precious treasure

that no one person can measure

it shall not be altered

no matter how our hearts falter

in our soul we keep our being

that everyone we touch keeps seeing

in their eyes we can notice

emotions made toward us

if our soul is of desire

we will be the one's to inspire. (1998)

Free Wallace and Gromit Short - Soccamatic. This reminds me of a guy I lived with in first year res who had the entire collection. He became extremely irritated by anyone implying they were not funny and would insist they watch some of his collection with him.

I tell people my nipples are the size of dinner plates, but I am assured by many they aren't. Now I have gone off and injured the left one. It's runner's nipple, a chaffed nipple caused by my shirt rubbing against it for a long period of time. You wouldn't think something like that would hurt, it doesn't. It just stings like a son of a bitch.



Pray for me. Pray for Mojo (simpsons reference, not my nipple).

Person 1: "How cute, PeeWee Football!"

Person 2: "OH MY GOD! PeeWee Cheerleading!"



I don't know why, but it was the funniest thing I had ever seen in my life until that point. Twenty or so chubby little girls with pom-poms in full swing.

An abandoned house sits on a decimated lot on the outskirts of town. The siding is falling off faster than the paint peels. Our protagonist is hidden deep within the bowels of the building surrounded by protection in the form of extra-large military personal. There is a hit on his life and two assassins have been sent. The two enter the house without a sound, but are immediately picked up on the infared camera situated on top of an old rusted out refrigerator. The protection seizes the assassins bringing them to our protagonist. He pulls off the balaclavas to reveal Amanda Zimm and Busy Ramone from the wildly successful TV show Ready or Not. In his frustration he punches Zimm sending her back to the floor with a trickle of blood flowing from the left nostril.



Another night another strange dream.

I have a recurring dream where I attend a boarding school. The location changes but the school always has an elevator in it that plays some sort of key role. Last time all the students were trying to defeat some evil entity and I had to use the elevator to conquer each floor. This time I kept waiting to get an elevator but it would always be full. I finally managed to snag one and on the way down the doors opened and these enormously fat people tried to get in but couldn't. They got stuck and trapped me in.

You can't control anything on the web, not your death or resurrection. SuccaLand has been reincarnated as Triplespeak.



How do you get refers from sites that don't link to you? Right now my stats page is full of refers from quiveringfuckhole, voodoomachine and raverpussies.

Who's on the cover of a magazine? Little Elisha Cuthburt from PMK is on the cover of Maxim and MuchMusic's former VJ Rachel Perry is doing a spread of her own in Stuff. Both of these covers completely threw me off, I didn't know either of these Canadian Gals had achieved enough American Stardom to have Cover appeal.

People ask questions they don't want answers for, far too often. A friend asked me why she shouldn't get a cat. I did my best and came up with several solid reasons, all of which were disregarded because she had already made up her mind. The same thing happened when it came to naming the new kittens, both girls solicited ideas and shot down every single one I suggested. I like clever names such as Blackie for a cat that's not black or Bo because a violin bow is made of catgut, and suggested things along that line and then gave up entirely and said anything. Only one name was decided upon, Miss Kitty Fantastico, like I would ever come up with that sober.

It's rejuvenating to be considered meat in the market. The bar I went to last night was a quant little hole that I think I could learn to love. I met a friend from my escapades in Barcelona this summer and we partied as if we had never left the city. The band crowded the dance floor with cover songs that enthralled the women to grab my ass, grind against my body and do anything else they wished. Either that, or it was just crowded.

I wish my life came with some sort of secret anti-boredom device. A nice little black box surrounded by glass and above it hangs a pretty little sign, "break glass in case of emergency". Truthfully I don't think that box would have survived beyond my formative years, but it would have proved invaluable on days such as this when the most interesting thing that happens is running by hens who have wandered to close to the street.

Nadasurf - Popular, because after all these years you still harbour resentful feelings towards high school that you haven't quite been able to work through yet and are searching for some guide to point out your mistakes.



Three important rules for breaking up

Don't put off breaking up when you know you want to

Prolonging the situation only makes it worse

Tell him honestly, simply, kindly, but firmly

Don't make a big production

Don't make up an elaborate story

This will help you avoid a big tear jerking scene

If you wanna date other people say so

Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected

Even if you've gone together for only a short time,

And haven't been too serious,

There's still a feeling of rejection

When someone says she preferres the company of others

To your exclusive company,

But if you're honest, and direct,

And avoid making a flowery emotional speech when you brake the news,

The boy will respect you for your frankness,

And honestly he'll apeciate the kind of straight foward manner

In which you told him your decision

Unless he's a real jerk or a cry baby you will remain friends



I'm head of the class

'm popular

I'm a quarter back

I'm popular

My mom says I'm a catch

I'm popular

I'm never last picked

I got a cheerleader chick



Being attractive is the most important thing there is

If you wanna catch the biggest fish in your pond

You have to be as attractive as possible

Make sure to keep your hair spotless and clean

Wash it at least every two weeks

Once every two weeks

And if you see Jonny football hero in the hall

Tell him he played a great game

Tell him you like his article in the newspaper



I'm the party star

I'm popular

I've got my own car

I'm popular

I'll never get caught

I'm popular

I make football bets

I'm a teachers pet.



I purpose we support a one month limit on going steady

I think It will keep you both more able to deal with weird situation

And get to know more people

I think if you're ready to go out with Jonny

Now's the time to tell him about your one month limit

He wont mind he'll apreciate your fresh look on dating

And once you've dated someone else you can date him again

I'm sure hell l did

Everyone will appreciate it

You so novel what a good idea

You can keep you time to your self

You don't need date insurance

You can go out with whoever you want to

Every boy, every boy, in the whole world could be yours

Iif you'll just listen to my plan

The teenage guide to popularity

The whole problem with being white trash is that I'm not really cut out for prison. I just finished reading, Bingo!, by Roger Caron about the Kingston Pen riots in '71. The events that happened there make me cringe to think about. The small cells, the lack of respect and the general isolation would make me go insane. I can't handle a small town well, let alone a small cell with a toilet in the corner and a hole to look out of. I would lash out at the Screws for telling me what to do. Those conditions plus several other factors made the inmates go crazy in '71 and do the vilest of acts to friends and foes. The book reiterated that the scariest imaginations can always be surpassed by the messiness of life.