My work laptop won't start. This could be a problem.



I feel like I am playing a gigantic game of house except nobody told me that it would be difficult. The pseudo family left for Maui, lucky bastards, leaving behind their 2 one year old puppies and an 18 year old daughter who came back from the Dominican holiday with flea bites, suspiciously sounds like crabs (mental note -> avoid daughter if possible). They kindly took me aside and said 'keep an eye on her', in other words please please stop her from destroying our home that took us 20 years to put together and another 50 to pay for.



So last night was the first test as I watched her an her friends become inebriated with my girlfriend, she watched not participating. I did learn a valuable lesson, like Elaine Benice her vault combination is alcohol. She preceded to tell me a little too much about her friends activities in what is now my room. Then as they left I had to make sure they were taking a cab. It was very tiring. Then you throw the dogs in the mix which must be like having kids. You have to feed them, walk them and pick up their shit and no matter how good you are at they still whine and bark and generally ignore you.



I have to admit, it has soured my future in pet ownership. I may have to consider an imaginary pet. I think it will be a tiger named Richard Parker. He listens to what I say, uses the toilet, lets me pet him whenever I want and best of all, eats people whom I disapprove of.